While most people realize that teen pregnancy is a serious issue in this country, many do not know that half of all pregnancies in the U.S. are unplanned – and among single 20-somethings, 7 in 10 pregnancies are unplanned. That’s true among all racial and ethnic groups. And while we’ve reduced teen pregnancy by 1/3 over the past decade – a real triumph – unplanned pregnancy among single young adults is a problem that’s not getting any better, and has serious consequences for babies and their young parents. Unplanned pregnancy is linked to family turmoil, late entry into prenatal care, infant mortality, and low birthweight. Children born from unplanned (and especially unwanted) pregnancies are at greater risk of child abuse and neglect, cognitive and physical defects, and more.
So if you’re in a sexual relationship, whether it’s serious or casual, and you’re not totally committed to preventing pregnancy by using protection every time, chances are you will get pregnant or get someone pregnant this year.
Not in your plan? The good news is that unplanned pregnancy is 100% preventable. Here are 10 things to keep in mind to make sure you’re as smart about your love life as you are about everything else:
- If you’ve been having unprotected sex and you haven’t had a pregnancy yet, that’s not proof it won’t happen to you. A sexually active adult who does not use contraception has an 8 in 10 chance of pregnancy within one year.
- If you are not using contraception, you can always say “no” to sex. It doesn’t mean you’ll never have sex again. And if you’re worried that saying no will jeopardize your relationship, then rethink your relationship.
- Guys, don’t wait for her to insist on using protection. Many young men say that they only use protection in the first 2-3 weeks of a relationship, because after that you’ve established trust and closeness. Being in a serious relationship is a good reason to use contraception – not a reason to stop using it.
- Women, be smart: sex won’t make him yours and a baby won’t make him stay. A pregnancy is not a good way to take an uncertain relationship to the next level – too often, it can stress your relationship to the breaking point. Among mothers having an unplanned birth who are single when they become pregnant, more than half (54%) remain single by the time their child is two years old. Married or not, couples who have unplanned births report more frequent relationship conflict and depression than couples whose babies were planned.
- “If it happens, it happens” is way too casual when it comes to pregnancy. Far too many single, young adults who say they do not want to get pregnant are also not using any contraception – and simply feel that if pregnancy “happens, it happens.” Take charge of your life and of your future. It’s too important not to.
- Have you talked to yourself yet about pregnancy? No contraceptive method is 100% foolproof (except abstinence). If you’re not ready for pregnancy, are you on long-acting birth control (like an IUD or the pill), or using some kind of protection every single time? If you say you don’t want a pregnancy, do you really mean it? Or are you on the fence? Before you talk to anyone else, have a long talk with yourself. Then talk with your partner. Are you on the same page? Talk about it now, before you’re panicking over a pregnancy test.
- Planning a pregnancy isn’t just for “old people.” Or rich people. You put in a lot of hard work to get into college. If you want a promotion at work, you know which steps to take to get there. Planning a pregnancy is not just for people who have trouble getting pregnant, who are older, who are wealthy or who are hyper-organized. Planning a pregnancy is one of the best things you can do for yourself, your relationship, and your child.
- Don’t assume the worst about birth control. You have more choices for long-acting birth control (the pill, IUDs, etc) than ever before. Just because your best friend gained weight or got moody, it doesn’t mean you will. Did you know that IUD’s are 99% effective in preventing pregnancy AND you don’t have to think about them for 3-5 years at a time? Ask your doctor or health professional to help you find the birth control that's right for you. It’s out there. If she’s too busy or you just don’t like her attitude, find someone who will work with you. It’s worth it.
Need some help figuring out which birth control is right for you? Visit this site and answer a few short questions - based on your answers, it'll recommend a birth control method that fits your lifestyle. - A wild night out isn’t the best way to start a family. Alcohol often leads to unprotected sex. Sometimes, it can be your excuse for just letting go. If you don’t want to worry about protection in the heat of the moment, then find another birth control method that works even when you’re not thinking about it. Teens aren’t the only ones who think having unprotected sex “just once” can’t get you pregnant. You can get pregnant every single time you have sex.
- Get the facts straight. Was your last sex ed class the one you made fun of in high school? Do you ever wish you could have sex ed class for grownups? Fertility, pregnancy, and contraception are complicated and it’s OK if you’re stumped by some of the fundamentals. You might not even know what you don’t know. But do you know where to go for good information about preventing pregnancy? Visit www.thenationalcampaign.org for facts, resources, and more.
We've come up with ten tips to remind you how to keep your love life - and your everyday life - on track. Have more feedback? Tell us! We'll post the best emails, advice, and stories from you right here.